Anyone else with crippling fear of pregnancy?

My whole life I’ve had this crippling fear of pregnancy. It started growing up Catholic; I grew believing in a immaculate conception and a super cruel god. Around the time I turned 12 and had my first period I used to freak out that god might ask me to bear a savior baby. I used to freak myself out when my period would be late even though I was a virgin. I would believe I agreed to be pregnant in a dream from god and forgot. I used to have so many panic attacks and nightmares.
Fast forward ten years and I had an IUD fall out and I got pregnant, had an abortion and spent the next six months having anxiety attacks every day about being pregnant. I’m on the pill and use condoms and still don’t believe the pregnancy test when it comes back negative.

I’m just so tired of living in constant fear and wondered is anyone else could relate.

Anyone else with crippling fear of pregnancy?