I just heard one of the most patriarchal, misogynistic things I’ve encountered and it came from my gay bestie.


Pre Covid a man I once called friend raped another friend, a woman, in our group. As it happened behind a closed door and after public flirtation and fooling around many people in our group didn’t believe her.

It went to trial and he was thankfully found guilty. Sentencing is on its way shortly.

I discourage talking about the case as my bestie doesn’t know the woman and has expressed he can’t imagine the rapist would do that. I’ve made it very clear I support her.

Today he mentioned the sentencing and came out with one of the most offensive things I’ve ever heard considering what is happening in the world today.

He told me that if this man’s case gets 5 years and then the rapist appeals, it will get publicity like roe v wade and be in the media / get used as an example in law for years to come in the country we’re from. He didn’t come up with this, the stupid group I used to associate with did but him repeating this with conviction has offended me so deeply.

The arrogance and ego of the men that thought this up! They really believe that this rapist is on par with something as important as roe v wade. This kind of SA happens daily. Many women have experienced the kind of SA this woman had done to her, it’s not ground breaking, he’s not special and he is not innocent. What is special is that the rapist and men like him have been judged and sent to prison so they’re now labelled as the predators they are for the rest of their lives.

But what angers me more is that my gay best friend repeated this to me, a woman. I cannot believe that as a member of another oppressed minority group who is now also seeing repercussions of the overturning of roe v wade can’t see how disgusting and dangerous that comment he repeated was. And what’s *even* worse is he believes it AND thought it was entirely appropriate to tell me. When I told him that just simply isn’t true and asked him who said that he tripped over himself and tried to explain to me why it’s true.

I ended up changing the subject because I was so shocked and needed time to process exactly why.

I’m absolutely livid. The fucking audacity of men is out of this world and I’m **seriously** considering cutting all men out of my life and just interacting with women from now on in all manners of life that I can control.

I just heard one of the most patriarchal, misogynistic things I’ve encountered and it came from my gay bestie.