Learning the difference between “I can’t live without you” and “I choose to live with you” has been so sobering and empowering.

I went through a pretty toxic relationship last year that ended with him gaslighting and manipulating me over and over again. I became so codependent on him emotionally that I would put up with his blatant lies and silent treatment just for a hit of dopamine when he would finally text me or compliment me.

I thought I couldn’t live without him. I used to tell him that and think how romantic it was to know that someone couldn’t live without me. Well he ended up cheating on me, on top of a lot of other things, and I did a lot of soul searching these last ~8 months .

I saw this tiktok a while ago about this guy asking his girlfriend to tell him that she couldn’t live without him. Her response was, “I could, and I have, but I don’t want to. I choose to love and live with you.”

It hit me like a freight train. I will never say that to another person in my life – romantic or not. There is such power in knowing you CHOOSE this person to be a part of your life. Because I am strong enough to live without them. I deserve someone who wants to be there. I deserve someone who chooses me, too.

And so do you.

Learning the difference between “I can’t live without you” and “I choose to live with you” has been so sobering and empowering.