My Boyfriend Attempted to Kill Me Last Year

Well, this may be a long one, and forgive me for formatting because I am new to reddit and this subreddit forum.

So I was in a, well… toxic relationship to put it lightly. My boyfriend was an extremely controlling and abusive person, physically mentally emotionally… Anything bad you could of imagined him doing he did. And, of course, he came from money so I was very vulnerable since I was living with him and relied on him for shelter while he dragged me across the country.

With that aside, we were together for 3 years and lived in 3 different states semi permanently, however we were known for travelling across the country between homes. We resided in Phoenix the past year and a half, thousands of miles from anyone I knew or loved, so I had to quitely take his abuses, which were escalating, where in the beginning he would shove me or say mean things to me but it eventually came to him breaking my bones and causing massive hemorrhages on an almost daily basis. I was constantly covered in bruises so I would wear long clothes despite it being triple digits in the summertime. It was a long time coming before it came to a grinding hault. But oh how it did.

We were moving from the city to the country in the valley, and I knew deep down that I might not make it through the stresses that come with selling our home and moving to an even more remote location. One day on our move it was especially stressful, given our dog ran away earlier that day . Once we found our dog we drove back from the new house to our old one and I was getting us some food from the Wendy’s next door. He had been agitated all morning but once we got to the house I tripped on the concrete driveway and spilled his drink all over the floor. And this was what changed my life forever.

He dragged me into the house and proceeded to throw this metal shoerack over my head and repeatedly beat me with it, then he found a metal rod belonging to another clothes rack we had, and eventually he resorted to using a crowbar to strike me in the head, the back and wherever else he could until I was bleeding from my head and couldn’t stop, I couldn’t breathe due to him puncturing my lung, and several bones were broken. I was actively dying and couldn’t walk but a few feet before collapsing. However it would not be until 20 hours after the incident where I would get medical attention. It was an accident that I survived really because he continued to force me to move furniture despite having a broken back , and what saved me was a pit stop to circle K on my way to renew our U-Haul lease.

Good Samaritan noticed that as I walked in to get a Pedialyte that I collapsed on the floor and looked pale as a ghost despite the extreme temperatures and sun of Arizona, and naturally called an ambulance. Despite having lied to the police many times about my injuries before I hadn’t the energy to do it anymore and told them who he was and where we lived.

Naturally he went to jail and I was in a semi critical condition for the majority of my week stay at the hospital. We were both released the same day, and against the conditions of his release he contacted me, at first threatening me, then attempting to bribe me with money to call off the case, otherwise he would kill himself. Many of my friends don’t know why I didn’t take the money but I chose not to engage with him further because I knew there wasnt much in my hands at that point anyway, and I didn’t trust him anymore and felt if I engaged with him further I would die. And, as he promised, he killed himself by shooting himself in the head . This was the day before Thanksgiving last year.

I am since living with family and picking up the pieces of my broken life but I think about this everyday, this affects everything I do and how I see the world. I’ve committed myself to being a nihilist because I know the world is a cruel unjust place. The fucked up part is I never stopped loving him and I miss him all the time. But I’m glad it’s over I guess.

Edit: I really appreciate all the love and support. It’s been a hard time for me to move on but I’ve really appreciated the freedom and the time to pursue my own endeavors and hobbies. I hope that my story can help other women realize that they don’t need to settle for an abuser because life is so much better without and there’s always a way out.

My Boyfriend Attempted to Kill Me Last Year