my only goal in life is to make sure that I never bring more life into this world

I’ve always known that I never wanted kids, atleast not with the current life I have. But then I realized that even under perfect circumstances, I still wouldn’t want kids. I have a rare health condition that makes it extremely dangerous and even deadly for me to get pregnant and or give birth. I’m going to be seeing my new nurse practitioner in about a week and I’m gonna ask to get a referral for sterilization. I live in a very red state so I’m expecting to get shut down even though having a child would put me at high risk for both of us dying. I have the feeling that I’m gonna have to go through several doctors/ specialists or whatever to get a yes. I’m getting quite anxious. But right now my top priority and my only goal is to make sure I do not have children and bring more suffering into this world.

my only goal in life is to make sure that I never bring more life into this world